Erotic humiliation is a mystery to those that don’t “get it.” Listen to Mistress Olivia, Ms Erika and Humiliatrix Hunter talk about this special kink of Phone Humiliation and Sexual Humiliation.
Ms. Olivia: Welcome to The Weekly Hot Spot: kink conversation, BDsm advice, and insight from the worlds of distance domination and phone sex. I’m Mistress Olivia here with Ms. Erika and our friend Ms. Hunter. Hunter, we are so glad that you’re here you are always a lot of fun!
Ms. Hunter: Well, thank you guys for having me. You guys are fun as well. Love it. I appreciate it.
The longest erotic humiliation phone call
Ms. Olivia: I remember, and this was years ago, Hunter brought me into this wicked, erotic, humiliation call. Erika, were you here on that call? It was a multi-Mistress call. 
Ms. Erika: I don’t think so, but I’m really excited to hear about it.
Ms. Hunter: It was not long after I started here and I’ve been here almost 12 years.
Ms. Erika: Way before my time.
Ms. Olivia: You brought me into that call and Hunter, I have not laughed that hard. My stomach hurt, I was laughing so hard. And how many Mistresses?
Ms. Hunter: Some came and went and it was a multi-hour multi-Mistress. I want to say over a period of probably six hours, there were probably 10 Mistresses with as many as six or eight on it at any given time.
I have to say, that was my first foray into humiliation. I was having so much fun. I was just like you, I never laughed so freaking hard. I’m just going to say, I had no idea how fun it could be.
Ms. Olivia: I think for me, I was really scared about humiliation and we’re all going to talk about that because it’s the kind of kink that other people who aren’t into it are like, “Wait a minute. What? That’s really weird.”
Is humiliation BDsm or kink
Ms. Olivia: But first, multi-Mistress calls. I’ve done calls with you, Hunter. I’ve done calls with Erika. The three of us have done calls together. Bringing another Mistress in, it’s so much fun. Right, Erika?
Ms. Erika: It is so much fun and not only fun, but the energy is so different because you feed off the energy of your caller and feeding off each other’s energy just makes the call that much better. It’s mind blowing.
Ms. Olivia: Ooh and cock blowing. We alway say it’s therapy with a happy ending unless you are into orgasm denial, and chastity.
Ms. Erika: That’s the happy ending for them. They don’t want to cum, so we’re giving them what they need.
Ms. Olivia: They are happily unhappy.
Ms. Erika: They are happily horny.
Ms. Olivia: Which is similar to erotic humiliation. It’s thrilling and pleasure and pain all wrapped up in one.
Show our kink podcast some love
Ms. Olivia: Before we get to BDsm humiliation 101, let me mention, we are really happy about this.
The Weekly Hot Spot is charting. I didn’t even know this was a thing. When I found out it was charting, I said to Erika, “Oh, this is bullshit. I mean, I don’t think this is real.” And she said, “I don’t know. It might be, let me research it.” She researched and we’re on the fucking charts! Who knew?
Ms. Erika: Front page.
Ms. Olivia: Exactly. So to all of our listeners, you can help us. Subscribe to The Weekly Hot Spot on Apple or wherever you listen to your podcasts. We want you to subscribe, like it, leave a review, and then you help us. Think of that as a Mistress order, fucking do it. Thank you.
Ms. Erika: You want an assignment? There’s your assignment.
Erotic Humiliation
Ms. Olivia: So what is humiliation… erotic humiliation?
Hunter, you’ve actually got a humiliation blog and you focus on erotic humiliation and that multi-hour, multi-Mistress call was your foray into humiliation. Why don’t you start with the definition of erotic humiliation.
Ms. Hunter: The actual definition… and there is a textbook definition… but I believe the definition is anything that is embarrassing or humiliating that somehow also creates excitement.
People don’t always understand why they’re getting excited about things.
A lot of it has to do with our previous experiences, but also the way our brains are wired. If you get too intense a pleasure, it’s going to bleed over into the pain center. If you get too intense a pain, like erotic humiliation, it bleeds over then, into pleasure.
You think, “I don’t really like that, but, oh, I really do like that.” You know, that’s the way I look at it. I know that there is a textbook definition, but I don’t think anybody is really textbook.
Ms. Olivia: Yes, I agree with you. Erika, talk to us a little bit about the psychology of sexual humiliation.
Ms. Erika: Well, Hunter’s absolutely right. When I started researching, because when I enjoy something, I want to know how it works. Without being too textbook, because I don’t drink the Kool-Aid, you’re not going to hear big, gigantic 17 syllable words from me.
Embarrassment vs. Humiliation
Ms. Erika: In layman’s terms, the important thing about humiliation is that it differs from embarrassment.
Embarrassment is when you do something, like you trip or you fall; you did that all yourself.
The humiliation comes when I stick my foot out and you trip over it then all the girls laugh. That’s something I did to you.
Can you feel humiliated when you embarrass yourself? Absolutely. But basically humiliation is pain to the brain, just like Hunter said.
What is our body’s reaction to pain, both physical and mental? It’s to dump a bunch of feel-good hormones into our body and at the same time you’re being humiliated. Those hormones are racing. If you’re sexually aroused while you are humiliation, it creates a connection in your brain.
Either it’s one very traumatic event, which I’m going to explain in a second or it’s a series of events.
So you guys out there watching porn, watch what you’re watching because you could actually instill a trigger in yourself for a certain type of fetish. We do this all the time, to you guys that want it.
So let’s say your first day of college, you’re nervous as all hell. There’s that girl that you saw in your hometown. You’ve had a crush on her forever. You think you’re a man now. She’s standing around talking to her girlfriends.
You come up to say hi to her, try to get her attention and she comes over, kisses you on the cheek and you orgasm in your pants because you have no control. And everybody laughs and maybe they call you names while you are aroused.
I’ve talked to several people where something similar has happened. It was such a lasting impression that your brain connects that pain in that place. Does that make sense?
Ms. Olivia: Absolutely, it does. And you mentioned something that embarrassment is something you do to yourself, but humiliation is done to you. I never thought of it that way. I think I’ve been using embarrassment and humiliation interchangeably.
Ms. Erika: They are very similar. Somebody can feel humiliated if they embarrass themselves. But when you’re talking erotic humiliation, often it’s something that’s done to you, to elicit that response.
Ms. Olivia: I think that’s brilliant. Humiliation is very personal.
We talk all the time about how we don’t work off scripts. We don’t have an “if you get a call like this, say this.” That’s bullshit. Someone asks me, “Do you have scripts that you do?” I say, “Do I fucking sound like I’m reading a script?” No.
Ms. Erika: “Please put your hand on your penis.
Ms. Olivia: Stroke it up and down, then up and down.” What the fuck?
Erotic humiliation is a tricky kink
Ms. Olivia: Humiliation is one of these things that it’s intensely personal.
I’ll get a guy who calls up and says, “I want you to humiliate me.” I say, “Talk to me about what you’ve liked and why, what you’ve done that’s embarrassing that I can taunt you or tease you with.
And then there are more questiions:
- Do you like it rough?
- Is it mean?
- Is it degrading?
- Is it sweet?”
It’s so nuanced. He says, “I don’t know. Do anything.” And I say, “Yeah, you are not going to like that.”
It’s exactly the same as body sensations. The pleasure and pain mechanisms and body sensations.
For example, flogging. The people who love being flogged love it in a kink situation. If they’re in Singapore and they spit gum on the sidewalk and the punishment is being flogged, they are not probably going to get a boner during that.
It’s the exact same thing with humiliation, but everything else is different.
Some people get an erotic thrill out of one type of humiliation. Others, it can be jealousy. It can be shame, “Oh, you’re little penis is so small.” It can be fear, like, “I’m going to leave you cause you’re a quick shooter.”
So to both of you, when you got into doing distance domination and phone sex, did you think humiliation was weird, being aroused by humiliation? I did.
Is erotic humiliation weird?
Ms. Hunter: I definitely did because for me, my whole life, I would have done anything to avoid humiliation. So when I found out people actually looked for it, I was like, what?
Ms. Olivia: How did you get your head around it?
Ms. Hunter: Like Erika said, I research the psychology behind everything I do in life or feel, and that was one of the things after that call that I did have so much fun on, I wondered what he got out of it? I didn’t get that. I had fun. The Mistresses had fun.
I started looking into it a little bit and then I realized how it all connected.
Of course, everybody’s different, like you said earlier, Sometimes it’s just an experience they had in the past. Sometimes they don’t even know they like it until they’re in the middle of a call and you hear their reaction to something that really wasn’t meant to be humiliating necessarily, but you say, “Oh, did you like that? Did you like being humiliated in front of this person?”
Once I wrapped my head around it, I thought, “I can do this.”
Does Mistress enjoy erotic humiliation?
Ms Hunter: I’m a people pleaser in real life so I would never purposely humiliate somebody. I feel like this is my area where I know this is what they like and they enjoy and, by golly, I’m going to do it the best I can. So I love, love, love, humiliation calls.
Ms. Olivia: You know, I love that all three of us are geeks, all three of us are nerds. We’re sexy nerds like the librarians, librarians with enormous tits. All of us did the same thing.
I
started researching it at first.
I’m a kind person, the two of you know, I care about people. I’m a nurturer. I do fucking animal rescue. I care about shit.
I was sitting there and thinking, “I’m going to call somebody a loser and tell them just how pathetic he is?”
Epic fail for first small penis humiliation call
Ms. Olivia: The very first small penis humiliation call I did, I got on the phone and he said, “I have a tiny dick.” I said, “Oh, I’m sorry, but I’m sure it’ll be okay.” He said, “Oh, that’s not what I wanted at all,” and he hung up.I wondered what the fuck just happened!
So I got with Head Mistress Ms. Ally and asked her about his reaction. I said, “I don’t think I’m doing this call right.” She busted out laughing and said, “He does not want to hear that he’s okay. “
Ms. Erika: He doesn’t want to be nurtured.
Ms. Hunter: That’s one of the things too, though. Sometimes they want to hear that, but they want to hear it in a condescending way. “Awww, I’m sure your small penis will be okay. Really, it will.” I think a lot of them like that implied humiliation.
Not everybody loves that out and out overt, in your face humiliation. I just wanted to throw that in there too. Some of them do like that, but they like it in a condescending sort of tone, not like a really legitimate “It’ll be okay.” It’s important to know your limits with any humiliation kink.
Ms. Olivia: I was legitimately saying, “I’m sure it’ll be okay.” Erika, did you have trouble kind of wrapping your head around this?
Ms. Erika: Maybe it’s my inner Sadist, but no. I have absolutely no problem or qualms doing hardcore humiliation, but let me explain myself.
My only challenge is understanding the type of humiliation that you’re coming to me for or holding back from me. So, if somebody says they like harsh humiliation and I start hammering them, “They’re like, what?” So maybe you didn’t want harsh. I learned to step back, “Tell me what that looks like for you.”
I have freaked people out, come on too strong. They think that the fantasy that we’re doing, “I’m really going to be doing it.”
And I had to stop right in the middle of a session and say, “Honey, we’re in the middle of a role-play. It’s supposed to be intense, just roll with it.”
I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily a nurturer, I do care, but I am a champion of the underdog. So if there is somebody being bullied or treated unfairly, I’m the first to step in front of them. I have a hard time witnessing somebody else being humiliated.
I know you two and you both are wonderful and I trust you and I know you know what you’re doing. This isn’t to say anything about anybody else, but in general terms, I just feel more confident that I know what I’m doing. I know the buttons I’m pushing and I know I’m going to take very good care of you. So I’m more comfortable leading that charge.
It’s not to say that I won’t have a great time when you two humiliate someone. I trust that you have high standards for our clients and their well-being, too.
Ms. Olivia: You bring up something really important. And I want to put bells and whistles and asterisks around it.
There is a distinction with all of us between who we are and what we do *in scene* and who we are and what we do *out of scene,* as well as who we are as people.
I’ve gotten my head around humiliation and right now, I like it sensual and sweet. Then I throw in some mind-fuck fucking zingers that are like, “Whoa, did she really say that? Oh my God.” Then I’m back to sweet again.
I like taking him on an adult thrill ride. It’s a roller coaster and we are going up and up and up and it’s like, “Oh, this isn’t so bad.” Then you go up and over, whipping around and they say, “Oh, no!” This was actually a definition that somebody said… that humiliation is like an adult thrill ride.
You are scared to death and just flipped around all over the place while it’s happening. You say, “I am never doing this again.” And the minute it stops you say, “Oh, I want to get back in line. I would really like to do that again.”
For both of you, what is your favorite kind of humiliation style?
Humiliation Styles
Ms. Erika: Favorite? That’s hard to pinpoint. Like you said, Olivia, and what Hunter said earlier, I tend to be very sensual and throw out those zingers.
Usually something very soft like butter, but then they sting like a bee. “Oh, darling. Oh my God. Just look at you. Well, yes, isn’t that remarkable?” And I’m staring at his penis. “It has got to be the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen.”
So you start pumping him up and he thinks, “Oh, she likes it. She likes it.” And then what man out there doesn’t want someone to say “That’s the cutest penis I ever did see.”
As I say that, I’ve been getting into a different, unusual kind of humiliation call that I’m really loving and it’s called ignore humiliation. Have you ever done that?
Ms. Olivia: That was very confusing to me at first.
Ever heard of an ignore call?
Ms. Erika: Because you want to engage, you keep wanting to engage. Again, you have to know your client very well.
Recently I was paid for a day off and no, I don’t have any special vacation fund. Well, I do, but not in this case.
He paid for a long call for me to answer the phone, put him on speaker and carry him around for the day and do whatever I wanted. I was watching TikToks. I was in the pool. I was taking a bath.
The fun part was, every once in awhile, I’d say, “Now do such and such slave” or “Table slave. I want to put my feet up.” and he’d say, “Yes ma’am,” and then that’s the whole call.
Ms. Olivia: How long was the call?
Ms. Erika: 4 hours.
Ms. Olivia: I know for a fact that there’s somebody listening to this podcast and saying, “What the fuck is she talking about?”
Ms. Erika: “I’m paying money to be ignored? Talk about humiliation. You’re not even worthy of my attention… and you’re paying for it!”
Ms. Hunter: The funny thing is and that I love about these, though I have not had a four hour one, so that’s pretty awesome… is however long the call is, they still have to be listening because if you do give them an order, they have to respond. “Time to be my table for my feet,” they have to be actively listening the whole time.
Ms. Erika: Perfectly said. And he did hesitate for 20 seconds a couple of times before saying “Yes ma’am,” so I made him smash those gonads a couple of times to make sure he pays attention.
Ms. Olivia: I’ve done an ignore call and I’ve written a blog post while doing it. I get Farm to Table Community Supported Agriculture. So I had my fruit, vegetable, and flower box there so I said, “Okay, so I’m gonna wash my vegetables, chop ’em up and prepare dinner.” I made ratatouille. It was really good.
Ms. Erika: I like how you brought that up because I was working on one of the podcasts during an ignore call. I said, ”Oh wait, I could get paid to write on the podcast.” So I was preparing one of the podcasts for us and getting paid for my slave to listen to me.
Styles of Humiliation
Ms. Olivia: There are different styles of humiliation, different types.
There are verbal and physical tasks. When you talk about types of scenes, we’re going to give a slight sense of how a session would actually go.
I want people listening to this to realize that sometimes it’s all role play in your mind, but just like Erika said, you might end up actually doing some of these things. Those are the tasks.
Laughter, humiliation and degrading tasks
Ms. Olivia: Hunter, correct me if I’m wrong. That guy we had on that super-long humiliation call, wasn’t he running around on all fours with the feather duster stuck up as ass? 
Ms. Hunter: Yeah, that was one of them.
Another one we had him go out into his backyard and sing If I Had a Hammer while he was naked.
We had him do I’m a Little Teapot, all sorts of things.
Ms. Olivia: I use a feather duster for dusting and every time I see it, I’m like, “Oh, my.” I think of him all the time.
Ms. Erika: We’re creating our own trauma ladies.
Ms. Olivia: That call was pretty task oriented. Sing, I’m a Little Teapot. Put the feather duster in your ass. Crawl around and snort like a pig. Bark like a dog. Get on all fours and be a table. Be an inanimate object. Stand with your nose holding a coin up against the wall with your hands spreading your ass cheeks open. All of those are fun tasks, right?
Those tasks can be used within a role-play, or just inside the theater of the mind. If we do role-play, we can add some humiliation at the end or sprinkled within the role-play itself.
Erika, give us an idea of what you would do with role-play humiliation.
Humiliation as part of kinky role-play
Ms. Erika: One reason I like role-play humiliation is because it can really replicate actual events.
If you have a Sci-Fi role-play, there’s an octopus monster that invades earth and has its way with you. That’s total fantasy.
I’m loving when you mix fantasy and reality, when you can’t decipher the different threads. Which is fantasy and which is reality?
Example of humiliation
Ms. Erika: Let’s say we’re doing a role-play of humiliation and we’re a couple getting ready to go out and I’m describing what I’m putting on, what we’re talking about.
Just as I’m putting on my earrings, I look at you and say, “You’re really going to try to be a man tonight, right darling? Last time we were out, Taylor really upstaged you. Talk about humiliating me. My husband can’t even change a damn tire? I bet they think you went to an all girls college. Did you?”
Then fast forward to I’m making him my little bitch in panties. That’s the buildup to it and that really could actually fucking happen. I love that mix of fantasy and reality.
Phone sex is perfect for really creative and unusual roleplays
Ms. Olivia: I’ve got to ask, have you done an octopus-invading-from-space call?
Ms. Erika: There was a Sci-Fi couple’s session I did and he came up with some unique ideas and one of them was a tentacle-like appendage the space creature had as far as reproductive issues.
That’s why I keep going back to that; it was very traumatizing and I wanted to say, “No, I don’t want that near me. My body is a fucking temple.”
Ms. Olivia: It sounds like he took you on a mind fuck.
Ms. Erika: Right. Because I keep talking about it!
The art of the mindfuck
Ms. Olivia: I’ve been on the call with you when you get into mind-fucking and just really tweaking someone in all kinds of ways: physical, mental, and emotional.
What do you love, both of you, about the mind-fuck style?
Ms. Hunter: That is my favorite.
I should say, if you call me for 10 minutes and say, “I want you to humiliate me about my small penis,” I can certainly do that. But my favorite is when you call, we talk about what you enjoy as far as humiliation and why.
A lot of people really can pinpoint, “Well, it was back when this happened and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.”
I don’t always find out everything at the beginning, but as you go, you find out. I like to find out actual experiences that happened to them that made them realize they enjoy this humiliation. Then I expand on that.
One of my callers really had some intense and not in a good way, humiliation when he was young. They were calling him names and telling him he was a loser and all of that.
As we were talking earlier, that can become something of a learned behavior because of the endorphins. He told me this at first and we were doing other things, task-related things, which he also enjoys. After a little while, I started incorporating some of the names he was called when he was younger and he said, “Oh, my God, that’s amazing!”
I really, really, really like, even if it starts out as just a regular role-play or as task-oriented call, I like learning enough about the person throughout the process that I can introduce the mind-fuck. Pretty much every kind of humiliation, if it’s possible, has some of that mind-fucking in it.
CFNM
Ms. Olivia: Do you know what’s so much fun is a CFNM, Clothed Female, Naked Male mind-fuck call.
I’m surprised at the number of men who have been stripped and tormented by a group of women. Did you ever do this to a guy? I never did this to a guy.
In another podcast, we talked about putting a man in panties and talking to various guys, we asked, “When was the first time you got put in panties?” Several of them said, “I had a bet with a woman and I lost the bet and she put me in panties.”
What the fuck was I doing? I just wanted to look at your dick and fuck. I really missed out on the nuances of fun until I got older. I’m making up for lost time though. We all are. Erika., did you also love CFNM then?
Ms. Erika: Absolutely. I love the fact that even though we do long distance domination play, we can still mix that reality and fantasy together with CFNM… that’s Clothed Female, Nude Male… on Skype.
All three of us could be in a group Skype chat, watching somebody dancing to Dance Monkey while wearing panties.
Ms. Olivia: Or completely nude. That is so much fun. “Put your knees on the couch. Show me your ass. Now spread your thighs. A little bit more. A little bit more. Bend over a little bit and bounce your balls, get them bouncing.”
One of my favorite things is, “Okay, face the camera. Now do your hips so you get your dick swinging in a circle.”
CFNM and extreme humiliation
Ms. Hunter: My most fun was a recent call that we had done and he loves CFNM, but also extreme humiliation.
It was quite a long call and every time I asked him a question, and I asked him a lot. He would sit there and face me, talking to me, completely nude, but anytime he had the answer, he had to turn around and he had to move his ass cheeks like they were talking when he was talking.
I never laughed so hard as I did on that call.
Ms. Erika: I am so stealing that.
Ms. Olivia: I am, too! Did his ass have different voices?
Ms. Hunter: I made him use different voices.
Ms. Olivia: Give us some examples of the different voices.
Ms. Hunter: I can’t even remember. One of them was a really high voice. Something he did made me think of the idea and I said, “Oh, so turn around.” I think one of them was talking like Scooby-Doo. So he had to do Scooby-Doo.
A few different things like that.
Gives new meaning to talking out your ass
Ms. Hunter: It was fun for several reasons.
One, because it’s humiliating because he’s showing me that private part of himself, but also the fact that he turned around and we would have five minutes of a normal conversation.
And then I would say, “Okay, turn around.” And then I’d ask him something and he’d have to, quite literally, talk out of his ass.
Ms. Erika: I need an answer right now.
Ms. Olivia: And I want it in the Scooby-Doo voice, but. I want your ass to answer to me.
Ms. Erika: And Kermit! “Kermit the ass here.”
Ms. Hunter: We’ve got to get somebody to do a 3-Mistress call with us so we can enjoy this altogether.
Ms. Olivia: Yes, we have got to do that. I want to see this. I want to see these ass comments so badly, you know, I would pay money to see these ass comments.
Small penis humiliation
Ms. Olivia: When I first started hearing about erotic humiliation, I thought, and I think a lot of people think it’s all small penis humiliation. “Oh, you’ve got a tiny dick. You’re a loser. You’re going to be pussy free for life.”
Whether it’s sweet or whether it’s mean, it’s true, small penis humiliation is a huge, huge part of it. We did an entire podcast called the Femdom Guide to Penis Size, but it’s more than that. It can be anything regarding sexual performance.
So that could be erectile dysfunction. Shooting too fast. Having funny shaped balls. “Oh, your balls are pretty droopy now.”
Ms. Erika: Do your balls hang low, do they wobble to and fro….”
Ms. Hunter: I think we had that guy sing that song that night, now that you mention that Erika. He was marching through the yard singing it.
When your dick really is too small
Ms. Olivia: We get a lot of guys that call us who are under-endowed.
Ms. Erika: And what a fantastic time they are, too. Think about it. They could be angry little fuckers or they can embrace their diminutive size and figure out a way to please women. So they embrace their shortcomings and offer them up on a kinky little platter for us to enjoy.
I love playing games with little ones. “What’s bigger?” A I grab something around the house. “Oh look at the screw!” or “Look at this toothpick.”
Sometimes if it’s one-on-one on Skype, I have them take a picture of it next to their little cock and send me a picture.
You know who you are, little Tommy Small Cock. You know who I’m talking about though, too, Olivia. I have over a hundred pictures of him. Yes, peewee. You.
Ms. Olivia: peewee’s awesome.
Ms. Hunter: Even I know who peewee is.
Ms. Erika: We pass him around like some humiliated candy.
Ms. Olivia: I love bringing other Mistresses in for humiliation calls. This is a kind of Pass the Humiliation pet. It’s like stroking Pass the Penis. He’ll do an hour of calls, but in 10 minute chunks, so six Mistresses over an hour and he gets passed around to each Mistress. Each Mistress is very different and the guys lose their minds.
Cuckolding Humiliation
Ms. Olivia: One thing about small penis stuff, it leads into the whole cuckold fantasies thing. 
Cuckolding doesn’t have to be humiliating. It could be voyeuristic. It could be, “I want her to experience sexual pleasure.” It doesn’t have to be humiliating at all. Sometimes it’s merely being submissive, being dominated by a woman or another man.
Sometimes it’s being coerced to suck another man’s cock, but even that might not be humiliating. However, I love the zing of humiliation, being reminded that he is a beta male. “He is superior to me and with me, but not with me.”
Ms. Erika: That is very true with cuckolding, Olivia and with humiliation in general. You have to be humiliated by what you’re going through.
If you are open-minded sexually and you think, “Fuck everybody. Everything’s great,” and you like what you see, you’re not daunted by it. The humiliation there is little to none. So that could be a cuckolding scene, but I think that’s more of a threesome in my mind. 
Cuckolding has to involve a little bit of humiliation because his partner will say, “You are the beta and I’m being served by a superior.”
Ms. Hunter: I feel like that too. I think not all the guys who like cuckolding realize that part of what they enjoy is that little bit of humiliation, even if it’s just implied.
They might not want to have that pointed out to them but I believe these types of fantasies and fetishes have humiliation inherent in them.
It depends on the guy if he realizes that or not. I’ve had guys say they don’t want any part of humiliation, but once things get going, they realize, “Oh, the humiliation is part of what turns me on.” It progresses over time as you become more self-aware.
Ms. Olivia: Hunter and Erika, both of you are really, really good at what you do.
One of the things we bring to the table as professionals is we know how to push limits in an artful way and when to back off.
We know how to read the person.
There’s an art to doing erotic humiliation. You have to really pay attention and when it’s too intense, you back off a little bit. It’s very much like pain play. It is pain play for the mind.
Submission and sucking cock for Mistress
Ms. Olivia: I’ve noticed that a huge amount of people who like humiliation are either interested in or curious about cock sucking.. So humiliation can be a great entryway to coerced bi. We did a whole podcast called Mistress Made Me a Cocksucker.
That’s a combining of the verbal and the tasks, the role play and the mind-fuck. For some people, even the action of being told, “Okay, go suck a cock and then report back.” Yes, absolutely.
Ms. Erika: I did a blog on 4 Reasons Why Men Suck Cock and that’s one of them: humiliation.
It’s not that they’re gay. It’s not that they would ever seek out a penis on their own.
But one thing is for sure, when you suck a cock because that’s what I want you to do, it is humiliating.
When you think, “Fuck. I’m a hetero guy. My lips are wrapped around this fucking cock. What the hell am I doing? How did I get here? Why the fuck is my cock hard!”
Ms. Erika: You can get a guy conditioned to suck cock. “Start with my strapon. Suck my strapon. Suck my dick.” Then it’s just a hop, skip, and a jump to sucking a real cock.
Ms. Hunter: A guy says, “Well I want to suck cock for you because it’s the most humiliating thing I can think of,” and I respond, “Well, you’re not even good enough to suck a real cock for me. Instead, you get to suck this rubber cock and if you do a good enough job, then you can suck a real cock.”
I like to add that extra layer into it. Not always, but you can tell when the person needs that extra push.
If you’re reading them correctly, you know they need a little push sometimes.He loved it and moaned. I knew that was exactly what he needed.
Ms. Olivia: That’s the FUN-ishment instead of punishment. You aren’t going to get punished because you want to get punished. If I’m punishing you, I’m not going to punish you. It gets so convoluted! This is why we are artists.
Cum Eating
Ms. Olivia: Yes. I’ve noticed it’s not just the cock sucking or coerced cock sucking, but also, whether it is in fantasy or in reality: cum eating.
While some people are cum junkies because they are bi or they legitimately love the taste of cum, and we’ve all talked to people like that. They just want to eat cum.
For other people that is really humiliating. We did a podcast about the Cum Fetish and all about cum eating.
Cum eating can be a humiliation task or a reward.
Ms. Erika: It’s a subtle form of humiliation for some, but who’s going to sit around the lodge or when you go play golf and say, “Hey, I just ate a big, old fucking load of my cum!”? Nobody’s going to say that. You don’t say that to your buddies.
It’s humiliating, but it’s also the creamy reward. They did their job well and now they are drinking someone’s seed. The want that reward. They need that affirmation that you did a good job and I call those people addicted to cum. It’s just another reason why men love to suck dickety-do.
Ms. Hunter: I have a cum eating blog, CumEatingFantasies.com. I agree there is a little bit of inherent humiliation, but some guys, even though it’s humiliating, they just crave the taste. They know it’s humiliating, but they just plain ol’ like it.
Ms. Olivia: I didn’t know that you had a cum eating blog. We should combine our talents. If you want to partner up on a blog, I would love that. I think cum eating is one of the most fabulous things ever. It runs the gamut from fun, frisky, sexy, naughty, taboo to really humiliating.
Eat that cum, submit to a Dominant Woman
Ms. Hunter: I like the whole dominance and submission part of it too.
Some guys say they would never eat their cum and I tell them, “Never say never.” Then you get them to do it, but not only eat it, but beg you to eat it. Then it’s time to remind them, “Remember when you said you would never do that?”
Sissy Humiliation
Ms. Olivia: We can’t leave out the ladies. Sissy humiliation. Let’s talk about that.
I don’t think of humiliation when I think of crossdressers. I think that is like gender play and not humiliation. Not humiliation for transwomen, although a crossdresser or a transwoman might enjoy humiliation, just like any other person. They could like humiliation or submission or any combination of kinks.
When I think of gender and humiliation, I think of sissy humiliation, bimbo affectations, sissification, coerced cock sucking, being a sissy slut to me or a dominant man or both of us.
What do you both think?
Ms. Erika: It’s a whole new element when we take a male and transform them into a sissy and not only a sissy, but one that sucks cock, whether it’s real, fantasy, or my strapon. Here, you are, all dolled up. What do girls do?
I wrote a fantastic, fun little post about a sissy sucking her first cock and why.
Listeners love to come to us for that kind of training. How much can you be humiliated if you’re dressed to impress, but fail that phallus.
Ms. Hunter: I have a few sissies who really don’t want anything to do with the cock, but they love humiliation. I point out that they’re not a real man and they’ll never be a real girl. They like to be humiliated because they don’t fit into either place.
Why does humiliation hurt so good?
Ms. Olivia: The neuroscience of pleasure, the neuroscience of BDSM, is fascinating.
Ms. Erika: As we said earlier, the different hormones that are expressed with pleasure are similar to the ones expressed when you’re humiliated, if not the same ones. I don’t know all the technical terms other than the endorphins or the cortisol to lower your pain, your body wants to heal itself.
If anybody’s confused at this point regarding the humiliation response, guys, you’ve all gotten a nervous chubby because those hormones that are expressed dilate your blood vessels.
Where are there a heavy bundle of blood vessels? In your penis.
That’s what you’re experiencing, the flood of hormones, either through fight or flight, through humiliation, or just plain excitement.
It confuses your body because you start having sexual responses. It leaves you wondering why. It’s your body mind-fucking itself.
Ms. Olivia: That is a fantastic thing to point out because whether someone is being spanked, flogged, dominated, restrained, humiliated, whatever their need, when you, as a Mistress, find out what is so appealing to that person, you can incorporate that into your calls.
Later, you can point out to them, “I’m telling you what a loser you are and I see you on Skype… how rock hard you are. You are betrayed by your body.
Ms. Erika: Your truth detector.
Ms. Hunter: “Your mouth is saying one thing, but your dick is saying something else.”
Ms. Erika: “Your mind is saying, ‘No, no, no.’ But your penis is saying ‘Yes, yes, yes.
Ms. Olivia: We have a great assignment website called HumiliationBootcamp.com. It’s filled with sexy assignments. I did a small penis humiliation assignment on that site.
I tell the guy with the small dick to go to the drug store. “I want you to get Magnum extra, extra large condoms.
Go up and pay for them.”
Now, I never want someone to push their kink onto a civilian or in an inappropriate area, but he knows he’s buying extra, extra large and the fucking condoms slips off. He’s got a little nubby and the condom can’t even stay on.
Ms. Erika: What you said, Olivia, about not bringing civilians into your kink is important.
You’re not going to buy the condoms and say you have a tiny dick and you are not going to return them and say they are too big because you have a little penis. Nobody wants to hear that, darling.
However, if you go to the adult sex shop, they’re very used to talking to people about sex and sexuality.
So I think it was little peewee that I had go to the adult bookstore and ask for a chastity cage. Every one they showed him, he was to say, “No, I’m sorry. That’s still too big.”
Ms. Olivia: They’ve got a chastity cage called The Nub, which is basically like a button mushroom-shaped chastity cage. How funny to have him say, “No, that’s too big.”
Hunter, What about you?
Ms. Hunter: I have had them buy the condoms and also buy a zucchini, but not say anything about either one.
We don’t want anyone imparting their kink on someone else. You know that 9 times out of 10, the other people watching are thinking, “Hmmm. What do you think he’s going to do with that?”
I do enjoy the mind fuck and the psychology behind it. One of my favorite things is to take a period of time and create a humiliation calendar. Then, on the first day, write down something you don’t like about yourself and put it in a jar. Do this every day for the length of the calendar.
Then when that part of the assignment is completed, look at yourself in the mirror and read each one aloud. I also like if they read them to me because I really like to pull the mental part of it out.
Ms. Olivia: To our listeners, if you want some hilarious and very fun humiliation, you should do a call with one, two, or all three of us. Dial 1-800-356-616, and reach out and contact us.
Ms. Olivia: olivia@enchantrixempire.com / @MistressOlivia1
Blog: Experienced Mistress
Ms. Erika: erika@enchantrixempire.com / @ErikaEnchantrix
Blog: Intelligent Phone Fantasy
Do not leave your humiliation needs to the amateurs. Come to the professionals.
Ms. Hunter: hunter@enchantrixempire.com / @EmpressHunter
Blog: Intelligent Fantasies and I Will Humiliate You
Ms. Olivia: We’ve come to the end of the podcast. Thank you all for listening.
You listeners can support the podcast wherever you listen to your podcast. Subscribe, like and leave a review.
We want you to know, all teasing and kidding and meanness aside, we really, really do appreciate you. Thank you.
Questions for kinky listeners
Ms. Erika: If you’re someone who enjoys humiliation, what is your style? Do you know your style? Do you like it harsh or more sensual? I would love a few lines, not War and Peace. Send me an email and your thoughts.
Ms.Hunter: I have a couple of questions. Do you realize that you enjoy humiliation or do you think certain things are just exciting and you haven’t delved into it? I encourage you to look into that further. And, do you like implied humiliation, “Let’s hope you’re good with your tongue,” versus overt humiliation? I personally feel like I’m a mix of both. And depending on the person, I will be mean all the time and then give them a little bit of sensual or vice versa.
But I don’t know whether a lot of guys really know what they prefer. So, think about it.
Ms. Olivia: Both of you… thoughtful, intelligent, nuanced, really excellent questions. My only question is I want to hear from you if you got a chub thinking about crawling around on all fours with a feather duster in your ass.
Ms. Hunter: Somebody do that for us on cam, I’m just throwing that out there.
Ms. Olivia: Hunter, we’ve got to have you back. You are fabulous. You know what? We should do a cum fetish podcast and we’ll have you back for that. We’ll talk about cum eating.
Ms. Hunter: You guys are wonderful. Thank you both for having me.
Ms. Olivia: This was very fun. Thank you to our listeners.
You have fun with or without your feather duster.
Behave, or don’t, as the case may be.
We will see you next week. Thanks! Bye.
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