It’s Question Time for your Femdom Mistresses. The hosts of The Weekly Hot Spot podcast answer listener questions and share personal, kinky experiences.
Experienced Mistress Olivia begins this episode with a comment that catches Ms. Erika off guard. Hear why Ms. Erika got a little flustered and how Ms. Olivia is going to lure her into some new erotic adventures.
Topics for this Q&A from your Femdom Mistresses include:
- straight men and cock sucking
- Ms Olivia’s adventure travels and how that applies to kinky sex
- feminization and sissification
- chastity
- pegging
- a big cock in panties
- privacy and your kink
- and much more!
Listen to The Weekly Hot Spot podcast on any podcast app or click here to listen to Femdom Mistresses answer your questions on Spotify.
Ms. Olivia: Welcome to The Weekly Hot Spot. Kink conversation, advice, and insight from the worlds of distance domination and phone sex. I’m Mistress Olivia, here with Ms. Erika. Today is Q&A Day!. As opposed to T&A Day, – Tits and Ass Day, which is every day.
Miss Erika, I am so glad to have you here. Let me begin by saying you have lovely tits and the cutest ass..
Ms. Erika: Thank you, Olivia. Well, you know, I do enjoy what my assets do to men, but let’s not leave out your sexy, girly bits. I’ve never identified as lesbian or bi, but hanging around you, I have a huge girl crush.
Ms. Olivia: So my influence is going to rub off on you sooner or later.
Oh, I’m taking us on an excursion. We should pop your lesbian cherry on a podcast.
Ms Olivia propositions Ms Erika
Ms. Erika: I just broke out in a sweat.
Ms. Olivia: Would you be up for that?
Ms. Erika: You know what? Why not? You only live once, right, Olivia?
Ms. Olivia: You are always saying, “Oh, c’mon. Just try it! If you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it again.” What if we get to the end of that podcast and ask, “So, Erika, did you like that? Was it fun?”
Ms. Erika: Honey, if anybody can get me to jump the fence, it is you.
Ms. Olivia: I will have to remember that idea for a podcast.
Ms. Erika: Now I won’t be able to stop thinking about it. Now you have me intrigued and a little nervous. I’m usually a self-confident woman, as anyone who knows me knows, but this gives me little butterflies in my belly.
Ms. Olivia: That’s kind of fun, isn’t it? Why don’t you just reach down and touch one of those nipples for me.
Ms. Erika: You mean the hard one as I think about you, baby?
Ms. Olivia: Here we are in a question and answer podcast and no one has asked us about you and I yet. If we weren’t on their minds before, we are now.
And now that we have your full and undivided attention, take your hands off your penises. Don’t rub your nipples either.
We do have a request. Mistress’ orders:
Go to Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts and subscribe, like and leave a review for The Weekly Hot Spot. We’re moving up the charts… the little green arrow was pointing up. We’re excited about it, too.
Ms. Erika: I got a call yesterday from somebody who listens to the podcast and also calls you regularly. He just wanted to say hi and tell me what a great show we’re putting on. So thank you! I didn’t get permission to use his name… we respect your privacy, callers… but I will tell you later, Ms. Olivia.
Ms. Olivia: I just love that. I’m sharing the emails and we’ve got a lot of people who are saying, “Hey, I heard your podcast. What do you think about this?” One of the questions here today is from an email.
Let’s get to the questions for your Femdom Mistresses
This one is from WD who asks:
“If societal norms were not present, should there be any difference between a man sucking cock or a woman sucking cock?”
Ms. Erika: If this is WD from Enchantrix Empire, our adult social networking site, shout out to you.
What a great question because a lot of how we view and feel about sex comes from our social conditioning, which tries to tell us what we think is “right” or “wrong.”
Oftentimes, being “wrong” or playing with something taboo is exciting. That’s what got me interested in kinky things because they were taboo. I was such a rebel. And so if it was taboo, it was for me, so I celebrate anyone’s desires, within reason. Not if it’s going to give you 10 to 25 in the clink, then let’s go for it.
In my world, there really isn’t a difference between a specific gender sucking a penis. So come over to Mistress Erika’s world and we can jump in the deep end.
Ms. Olivia: Before doing phone sex, I was not aware of how many straight men were curious about cocksucking. Legitimately straight men, not men who are bi or gay or want to fulfill a cocksucking fantasy, or on the down low, but full-on heterosexual men who are cock curious. I had no idea.
Ms. Erika: When we’re growing up, we’re taught you are either heterosexual or homosexual, or you have those people who can’t make up their minds, so they’re bi. Those are not my feelings, so let’s set them aside for a moment.
To circle around, I was also surprised at the heterosexual cocksucking as well, but more intrigued. There is a lot of talk about sucking cock for Mistress, and that is in the similar vein. You don’t want to be bi. You’re not gay or identify as gay, but you find pleasing a cock erotic.
Cock sucking is popular
Ms. Olivia: Several years ago, neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam culled the Internet to see what people were looking for through searches and classified ads and wrote the book A Billion Wicked Thoughts.
It’s fascinating. All of the permutations of cock, cocksucking, penis, big penis, big cock were found. The scientists found “dicks” as the largest search and it was not just gay men doing the search. It also wasn’t just women doing the search.
I’ve also read that straight women love to watch gay male porn, especially gay male cock sucking.
Ms. Erika: I love gay porn. I fucking love it.
Ms. Olivia: I thought I liked it because I was freaky.
Ms. Erika: You’re naughty.
Ms. Olivia: I like the naughty stuff. I like the taboo stuff, but apparently I’m not as unusual as I thought.
Ms. Erika: Not only can I put myself in the chair as the cocksucker and experience it that way, but it is erotic and so fucking hot when people can put aside the societal convention and enjoy themselves sexually. That to me is hot.
Ms. Olivia: I have a question, and I promise we’re going to get to listener questions.
Mistress views on cock sucking and blow job porn
When you are watching cock sucking porn, either man on man or woman on man, especially Point of View/POV porn, do you ever find yourself critiquing the technique? “Oh no, you shouldn’t be going that fast.”
Ms. Erika: I like picking up tips and tricks from the really good videos, but you are right, there are people who need more instruction. To some people, gagging is really hot and at certain times, it can ramp up the intensity level, but it’s uncomfortable to gag. So if I watch it too much, that gagging type porn, then I don’t feel so good.
You don’t need to go so deep. “Just use your hand here, swirl your tongue around there and you’ll still get him off.”
Ms. Olivia: I agree on the gagging. But I also find myself thinking, “Man, you’re going like a piston there. Can’t you swirl your tongue around the cock head just a little? Put some fucking effort in it.”
Ms. Erika: They go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth or up and down, up and down. I don’t like the same thing all the time. I like switching things up.
You and I are similar, Miss Olivia. We are in this for the experience. We don’t just say, ”Hurry up! Get off buddy! FapFapFapFapFap C’mon, get off!” We want the experience. We want to feel that throbbing. We want to tickle those balls and feel them curling up.
Ms. Olivia: I have to say, if Curious George is listening to this podcast, he is losing his ever-loving mind right about now because cocksucking is George’s question.
“Where’s the best place to start for guys? If a guy wanted to suck cock in real life, how would he go about doing it?”
Ms. Erika: Talking to the Mistresses is a great beginning. We’re able to use our experience and then teach you through the kinky desire to suck cock. Another important aspect is to know what your boundaries are. It’s good to find others who have similar interests.
I’m all about keeping my pet safe, both physically and health-wise. I’m not going to suggest running out to a glory hole if they’ve never done that before.
There is a saying, “Hang around the barbershop long enough, you’re going to get a haircut.” It’s like how I hang around with you, Ms. Olivia, and think, “Could I enjoy having an intimate encounter with that lady?”
It’s the same thing with cocksucking. Find the people that celebrate you. There are lots of kink communities you can join. Always keep in mind your boundaries. Talking to a Mistress can help you define your boundaries and offer ideas for where you might go.
Cock sucking: Fantasy versus real life
Ms. Olivia: That is a fantastic answer because Curious George indicated, not only does he not know where to start, but what his parameters are. What questions do you even ask in the beginning?
When I talk to someone on the phone, the first thing I do is ask, “Is this fantasy? Do you want to take this into reality? How serious are you? Let’s talk about the health ramifications. Are you in a relationship? Does your partner know you want to do this? How do you feel about sucking cock using a condom? Let’s talk about risk factors for a bit.” And the discussion goes like that. I think it’s important to have a conversation about cock sucking and safety in real life.
Personally, I am fine sucking a cock that is not in a close, long-term, regularly tested partner. But that also allows for a high level of risk. Although they are people I do, in fact, know personally. It’s not like I am going to the glory hole and sucking cock. I know the people we play with in the fetish and kink community together. I have a sense of what they are doing sexually. Obviously, you can’t know everything people are doing, but you can watch and minimize your risks.
Ms. Erika: Minimize your risk. That’s what life is all about, minimizing your risks and understanding what those red flags are. Nothing is 100% guaranteed. We’re talking about mitigating risks.
Ms. Olivia: I think Curious George should also listen to the Cum Eating episode. Remember we talked about Michael and his fabulous story? He could have been Curious George and Michael went from cum eating as a fantasy to the reality of eating his own cum. Then he went even further realizing he was cock curious and then to sucking cock.
Now 6 years after the first phone call, he has several male lovers and he still have a fabulous sex life with his girlfriend. He identifies as fully bi, his girlfriend knows all about it and is okay with it. She even participates sometimes.
He said if anyone had told him his sex life in his 50s would be much better than his sex life in his 20s, he would have said they were lying. His sex life is amazing.
Ms. Erika: That is really common for women, too, to have a better sex life as they age. Once you get comfortable with your own self, you can relax and enjoy the experience.
Can you imagine if Curious George had suppressed his desires earlier? Once we let go, we are free to be who we are.
Ms. Olivia: Sometimes you have to get a little bit of age on you, a little bit of life experience and a little bit of “Fuck you. I’m going my own way,” and then finding out the world doesn’t end if you don’t conform.
And I don’t just mean sexually, but “Fuck you. I am going to take this job,” or “Fuck you. I am going to travel to this place by myself.”
Excursion! I’ll never forget the very first overseas adventure trip I took. My friends asked, “Who’s going with you?” and I said I was going by myself. They told me, “No. No. You are a cute blonde. There is no way you can travel by yourself. You’re going to be a target.” After thinking about it, I signed up with an adventure travel group because it is stupid to go hiking and camping solo, male or female.
Ms. Erika: Especially in a country where you don’t speak the language.
Ms. Olivia: This was in Kashmir, a very dangerous place between India and Pakistan. Not the place to be wandering around.
Ms. Erika: … as a beautiful blonde bombshell!
Ms. Olivia: (in a ditzy voice) I’m just going to go walk in the mountains now. “Hi, I’m from New York. Can you tell me how to get to the houseboat on Dal Lake?” (normal voice) Even I know not to do that.
Ms. Erika: Can you say kidnapped and in a harem for the rest of your life?
Ms. Olivia: Who knows. I might have liked that. Only kidding!
I realized how powerful I felt coming back from that trip knowing I didn’t pay attention to the things people warned me about before I left. I went anyway and am so glad I listened to me. Be willing to try anything at least once, right? Isn’t that what you say, Ms. Erika?
Back to the questions. There are always lots of questions about feminization, cross dressing, and sissy training. Let’s start with this comment:
Crossdressing, feminization and sissy training
“I have experimented with crossdressing with most of my relationships. I only take it so far with my partners. Today, I wore my wife’s panties and stockings and rode our motor bunny until I came. My problem is I can’t take it to the next level.”
Ms. Erika: Motor bunny. I see lassos swinging in the air and cowboys running around.
The fun is so much fun you want more? The question is, “What is the next level for you?” What I heard is what is the next level for a lot of people. We have conversations regarding goals and dreams and what that looks like for you, because everybody is different.
Where do you want to go? And remember this isn’t a competition. Just because you saw this outrageous feminization porn video, doesn’t mean you have to go there and that’s the next level. You can set your own boundaries and enjoy your kink and sexuality.
So, we have a conversation asking, “What is the next level for you?” Then we can figure out solutions.
Ms. Olivia: It’s really a great point when you say that people watch porn and think, “I need to do this <fill in the blank>.” Whether it is CBT or bondage or cocksucking or feminization, or sissy play, whatever their mind can think of and see in porn. Watching may be a way to heighten the experience in that moment. It is fantasy combined with reality.
It sounds like the femme girl who asked the question is combining fantasy with reality. How much do you want to blend the two? Part of fantasy is taking an erotic vacation from your real life.
Ms. Erika: Yes, they also want to add a bit of stimulus, too. Some people come to us saying they are in a rut and can’t take it to the next level. That’s similar to what this feminization client said. With probing and asking questions, we can see the person has become desensitized. I notice both guys and girls experience this. They find something that’s really exciting, really hot, and they get off like, WOW! BANG! They keep doing the same thing over and over and eventually they become desensitized.
It is like that with humiliation, too. We start off slow and sensual and in a few years, you’re licking the floor and getting pounded with a dildo.
If we keep doing the same thing, our minds become desensitized to it. We think we want more, that there’s something else out there for us. So before you think you want to take videos of yourself riding that motor bunny and passing them out to your friends and family, call us and let’s talk. Even if you think that’s going to be what does it for you. Maybe you just need to take a vacation from your motor bunny for a while and try something else. If you try something else, eventually the motor bunny will be exciting for you again.
Ms. Olivia: That’s a good point. I’m also a personal trainer and we use that analogy in exercise. If somebody comes in and they’ve been doing the same exercise routine for years, particular muscle groups are used to working. When you switch it around you begin to notice which muscles have a deficit and need working.
When I remodeled my attic and put a fetish play space up there, I installed a stripper pole. I started doing stripper exercise classes, pole dancing exercise classes. Now, I’m in shape. I’m fit. But after my first class, I was like, holy fuck. This is insane.
Oh my God. I was scared to have sex for several days. My core muscles were so sore… and I do yoga! I had no idea I had not worked those muscles in so long.
So yes, desensitization can be a big, big thing.
Here’s another email from a listener:
“This closeted sissy feels compelled to humbly write this after listening to the podcast.”
Ms. Erika: Yay! That makes us very happy.
Closet sissy wants feminization tips
Ms. Olivia: This sissy on the down low continues:
“I’ve been turning myself into a closet feminized sissy on and off for several years. I’ve finally accepted the fact that I am in need of guidance and accountability. I’m hoping to find someone to push me further.”
Erika, when you get someone who writes or calls and says this, what do you do?
Ms. Erika: The first thing I do is ask what their expectations are and what is the history of their journey so far? I need to know what their goals and boundaries are. This is a common theme in kink and kinky play, our needing to know what the boundaries are.
Can you go out dressed? Is this something that will fit into your lifestyle? I’m not saying you have to go down to the Cheers bar, where everybody knows your name. I’m talking about a little trip out of town for your first time so you don’t have that added anxiousness of maybe seeing someone you know.
Not only those things, but what style of guidance works for you? Some people need and want a strict, firm hand and others need a sensual hand. Sometimes people aren’t sure, but if you tell me about yourself and your story, I intuitively know where to go. As we talk, I get inspirational ideas that we can use.
There is no exact recipe for anyone. I need to get to know the person, feel their energy, know what motivates them and then I am able to give them what they need.
Ms. Olivia: I’m picking up on you saying how you have inspiration for ideas and how you read their energy. This is why they think we can read their minds. In part, we can.
Ms. Erika: We’re very experienced and our experience allows us to be sensitive to what people are saying and feeling. Listening to how people say things, too, helps. If they say, “I saw myself doing this,” or “I felt this way,” – if they use a lot of emotional words, then we know they’re emotional people. We know they connect with the world this way.
Thinking about deciphering a person’s words is much harder than just listening and being able to understand what they are saying.
He wears panties and has a question
Ms. Olivia: This next question is from a person wearing panties. We do talk a lot about having a small penis and wearing panties. And while this is no laughing matter, I’ll admit I laughed when I read it because it is so out of the norm of what we hear.
This problem, someone writes:
“My penis is about nine and a half inches. Soft, it is about six inches. I love wearing panties, but I look silly when I get hard, which is almost always when wearing my wife’s panties. I spill out the top or the leg.”
This is a legitimate issue.
Does every sissy have a small penis or little clitty?
Ms. Erika: This brings up a really great point, Olivia. Not everybody who wants to be a sissy or enjoys feminization has a small penis. The same as just because you enjoy feminine attire doesn’t make you gay or doesn’t necessarily make you a sissy. There are plenty of guys we know, heterosexual males, who enjoy panties and lingerie.
In real estate, they say it’s all about location, location, location. Well, when it comes to panty boys, it’s all about style, style, style. Start studying those styles, get them figured out so you know what we’re talking about.
You know I go to Secrets in Lace often, almost every week, just to look at the beautiful lingerie. With this challenge, I knew there had to be something at Secrets in Lace and they did. They have beautiful sheer panties that go all the way up to the navel. You can try high cut panties.
There’s another place I go called Honey Birdette and they have a panty called The Daisy and it’s a beautiful panty.
Even though you have a big cock doesn’t mean you’re relegated to just dreaming about being snug in panties. There’s a style for you.
Ms. Olivia: And the style doesn’t have to be boring old stupid granny panties. No. What you’re looking for are retro-style panties, vintage-style panties… and my favorite place is Agent Provocateur. They are haute couture lingerie. They have a high-waisted high-cut panty that is to die for. It is drop dead gorgeous.
When we are asked questions like this one and they are looking for options, they see their partners wearing granny panties and think that’s the only other choice. Oh, no. Trust me. There are lots and lots of options.
The same person who asked the question above about panties continues with what turns into a chastity question:
“I’m happy with my penis but don’t know how to overcome this problem. I’ve read comments about caging, but I’m a bit frightened that I could cause harm to my penis. Should I, as a larger man, just subdue my penis?”
Chastity and penis size question
Ms. Erika: You won’t do anything to harm your penis, especially if you do your research and if you invite us in for advice. There are plenty of devices you can buy that would fit.
I suspect he’s talking about the fetish of shrinking the penis when it is in chastity. The penis is not “muscular,” but fibrous. Just like anything, if you don’t use it, you lose it. It just doesn’t feel as strong as before.
There are plenty of options for chastity cages. There is a size for everyone. If you have a properly fitted chastity cage, you could be one of the men who prefers wearing it. Some even say they feel naked, exposed, or unsupported without it on.
When in doubt, I suggest people go to Mature Metal even though they will cost a few more dollars. It is well worth the money. They are the best when it comes to chastity devices. They also have great advice on measuring to make sure it is the right size for you.
No matter the device you choose, once you put it on, check in every once in a while looking at a mirror to make sure everything looks healthy and it is comfortable. There are different sized rings, different sized pegs, different sized shafts, there’s a chastity device for you. Here’s a link to the podcast episode that we did with William from Mature Metal: All about chastity.
Ms. Olivia: Call us and we can walk you through all of this. 1-800-601-6975. You can also contact us with the information we will give at the end of the podcast. Send us an email. We know the ins and outs and we know Mature Metal.
My favorite at Mature Metal is the Queen’s Keep; it’s spectacular.
This same man added on a sissy play question:
Question about pegging
“I love my wife. I love when my wife makes me her sissy, but it doesn’t look right when she’s pegging me. Everything is just flopping around. I’ve tried elastic bands to strap it to my leg. I really want to surrender, but what do I do?”
Let me mention that in sissy porn the flopping around of the sissy clit or the sissy bits is part of the appeal for many. Not for this sissy, so let’s find a solution.
Ms. Erika: When I heard him say, “It doesn’t look right,” what is right? Everybody has their own different tastes, but since it bothers you, besides a chastity cage, there are other options. One is a full-coverage panty that is assless, not crotchless. Crotchless will leave everything hanging in the breeze.
With assless panties, you can pull your naughty bits up into the front of the gusset of the panty and still have your bottom exposed for your sissy play.
There is something called a Netted Male Chastity Jock that’s very masculine, but not tightly confining like a chastity cage.
If you have a large penis and don’t want to spend a lot of money, I also found this cute pink leather adjustable strap that has an eyelet at the front to hook a chain to. It’s called the Sissified Hot Pink Leather Buckling Cock Cage and it’s adorable.
Ms. Olivia: I have not seen that and now I want to order a whole bunch of sissies to order one.
Ms. Erika: Isn’t it adorable? There’s a strap around the cock and balls, but adjustable. It’s got a buckle depending on your width so it’s going to fit.
Ms. Olivia: You can keep that sissy clitty under control and it’s pink!
Here is a question for both of us:
What does a Femdom Mistress wear to sleep?
“Do you sleep naked?”
Ms. Erika: Do you count panties? Most of the time I’m wearing panties because it’s very warm down here. In the winter, it gets a chilly 60 degrees at night so you might find me wearing a pair of cotton men’s PJs. I just love them.
If someone’s staying over, I might wear a little va-va-va-voom and a baby doll or something, but usually just panties.
Ms. Olivia: You think 60 degrees is cold?
Ms. Erika: Yes!
Ms. Olivia: You are such a fucking wimp! I’m in upstate New York and when it’s 60 degrees, I’m in a string bikini strutting around. Give me a strawberry daiquiri because I’m baking here.
Ms. Erika: I’m a tropical flower. I used to live up north so it is mind-fucking to me, but it’s true. You get used to the warm weather. I think I’m here in Florida because I acclimated well to the warm weather.
At 60 degrees, I’m in long pants and a long shirt. 50 degrees, a freakin’ winter parka and gloves. Make fun of Mistress all you want, but I am a tropical flower, you bastards (said with a Philadephian accent). That was my little Philly coming out.
Ms. Olivia: I was talking to a friend on the phone and we got to talking about what I sleep in. I said, “I sleep in nothing but a smile and pleasant dreams.” He started laughing.
I have a thing about fabrics. I love really, really, really high-thread cotton sheets. I’m not crazy about satin, but cotton sheets—I love just slipping inside them. But this is what made him laugh. I like to be under the sheets and piles of blankets on top of me, like burrowing in a nest.
Ms. Erika: He probably thought, “Why don’t you just wear PJs and take the covers off?” Because you like the covers. I like the covers. I’m in panties and have the air on 76 degrees and I’m underneath my sheets and blankets.
Ms. Olivia: Maybe it’s just a girl thing and guys can’t understand it, but I told him I wear nothing but fuzzy socks. He wanted to know why I wear socks. I said because I stick them out the bottom of the covers.
Ms. Erika: Automatic temperature control!
Ms. Olivia: I leave them out the entire night, so I have to wear socks. He said, “Let me get this right. You are buck naked and wearing fuzzy socks with your feet sticking out.” He sounded nonplussed about it. I asked if it changed his view of me and he said, “No, I’m good with that.”
Ms. Erika: Guys, don’t try to understand; just go with it.
Ms. Olivia: I know this might not be right, but there is a beauty bias and the more attractive you are, the more you can get away with. So my fuzzy socks, they work.
Ms. Erika: You are absolutely right. I had some roofers here to do some work and there was one guy who was shorter than me and I didn’t know his name. I needed to find him because they cut the screen on my front porch, no big deal, they’ll fix it.
I was walking around the house calling out, “Little dude! Little dude! Where are you, little dude?” He popped his head out and I said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know your name.” He told me his name and my roommate said to me, “You know, it’s the worst thing you can do to call a guy ‘Little Dude.” I said, “I did it with a wink and a smile. He’s fine.”
Ms. Olivia: He might have been thinking about you later that day masturbating, if you were wearing some of the things I’ve seen you wear.
Ms. Erika: I had my bathing suit on, a two-piece tankini. I want my roof done right. I don’t want it fucked up. I can’t run around in a bikini, so I had my tankini on. It was probably still distracting.
Question from a chronic masturbator
Ms. Olivia: So for the other wankers out there, a question for you:
“I’ve been masturbating three to five times a day for weeks. Is that too much?”
Ms. Erika: We get that question a lot. “Am I doing this too much?” I always ask, “Is it interfering with regular sex with a partner? Are you turning down going out with friends to stay home and masturbate?” If the answer is no, keep jerking. If you’re saying, “Well yeah, I didn’t have enough energy for my girlfriend this weekend,” then the answer is you are masturbating too much. Let’s talk about it.
Ms. Olivia: One of the things you can do with a chronic masturbator is get them interested in chastity. Then, they can’t stroke.
Ms. Erika: Then they can develop different habits.
Ms.Olivia: This guy had a follow-up question:
“When I masturbate, from the first stroke to finish is usually a bit under five minutes. Am I a premature ejaculator?”
My first thought was, “If the world is ending in the next five minutes, no, you are just right. Keep it up. You can have one last orgasm, and you can cum as you go.” But, if there is no fire or emergency, then that might be a tad premature.
Ms. Erika: One question is: “What is premature ejaculation?”
It’s considered premature ejaculation when the man ejaculates sooner than he wants to or when his partner isn’t satisfied. When you’re going solo, it’s a hard nut to crack. (Pun intended.)
I had a guy come to me to make him cum in under 30 seconds. I asked, “One, why do you want to do that? And two, let’s fucking do it.”
I always encourage guys to try to last and use different stimuli, too. It’s a whole new world when the penis goes in the vagina and you have to be prepared for it. As long as you can hold out for as long as your partner needs you to, then you are good to go. Well, unless you have a fetish for being a premature ejaculator, then I will laugh at you.
Ms. Olivia: We have all kinds of things we can do. Edging, orgasm delay, orgasm denial… call us. We can help with any of this because we’ve heard it all and we have done it all.
Question about being submissive
We’re coming towards the end of the questions. This is a great one… who is submissive and why. Did you already read the transcript for What Every Submissive Man Needs to Know? We recommed that episode. And now to the question:
“Nature versus nurture; was I born submissive? Or was it something I learned?”
Ms. Erika: That’s been hotly debated by educated people for decades. I found a great article in Psychology Today about nature versus nurture. We are all born submissive. We don’t have a choice. We are vulnerable and have to acquiesce to the will of another.
I feel it’s a combination of nature and nurture, meaning we’re born with predisposed tendencies. Some people are born a little bit more anxious and some are a little bit more chill. We take those basics that we’re given through our DNA, then our environment enhances or detracts from it.
Ms. Olivia: He followed up with:
“Why do I like strong, powerful women?”
I got a wild hair up my ass and said, “Because we’re fucking hot!” Strong, powerful women.
Ms. Erika: Well, if you think about it in our formative years, we are all taken care of. Women are in charge. A lot of times men have insecurities wondering if they are good enough, manly enough. Men are harshly challenged to be men, strong men. So giving up that strong man persona, even if it is in fantasy, is an escape, a stress relief. It is a combination of all those things.
Maybe you don’t like to be in charge. You’re the type of person who is easy going and laid back and whatever is fine with you. You would like people to be in charge.
Ms. Olivia: Or it can be a combination of liking to be in charge and not liking it. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. It can be one thing one day and another the next. There are no boxes that people have to fit into. As long as you don’t go to jail, it’s all good.
Speaking of getting into trouble, privacy is a very common question and concern, especially with COVID and people in the house. People are lacking privacy.
Privacy and your kink or fetish
We have both gotten emails asking questions about this. The person says:
“Help! I can’t talk on the phone. What do I do now?”
Ms. Erika: The answers are: Texting and emails. We do email packages as well as using Skype to text all the time for different types of sessions. Skype is often a perfect way for us to connect. It’s very discreet and I’m not going to ask, “Why aren’t you answering me?” You get back to me as you can in text or voice if you’re interrupted, whatever is best for you.
There is an option on Skype where we can make a voice recording, so if you have earbuds, put them on and I can send you a sexy message during our session.
Ms. Olivia: Where there is a will there’s a way.
I tend to believe what people say. If they say they are going to do something, I expect them to do it. So when someone says, “I will call you next week, “ or “I’m going to call you tomorrow, but first let’s do a 6-hour email exchange for free.” No, cupcake. All of his restraints notwithstanding, I have found that when men want something bad enough, they are capable of moving heaven and earth to get it.
Ms. Erika: The movie He’s Just Not That Into You is the perfect example of this. If a guy wants something, he will make it happen. If he says he’s going to call and he doesn’t, actions speak louder than words.
I’m certainly not going to be upset about it, darling. I’m not going to send energy out to the universe that you get a yeast infection in your penis. Nope. It’s all good.
Ms. Olivia: I used to be “So-and-so is going to call,” and then I would count on it. Now, if I haven’t done a session with you, you don’t get an appointment. Appointments are at least one hour long or you don’t get an appointment. You get a 10-minute grace period, but if you are later than 10 minutes, you lose your appointment slot and lose the right to another appointment. I don’t play, motherfucker!
Ms. Erika: I’m a little easier going and will make an appointment for any length of time as long as it is an appointment. I have a schedule and my blogs will show when I am available for appointments. I’ll make appointments in those times and as long as it is an appointment, that means I promise to be there.
I can’t pass up 10 minutes of fun with a new person. I’m excited to meet them. I do have the 10-minute grace period where I want that respect to be told they will be late or cannot make the appointment.
You were able to send me an email, a Skype message, or a Twitter DM to set up the appointment, but you couldn’t send me a message the same way saying you could not make the time to be with me? You can’t say, “Hell, I’m so sorry, I’m stuck in traffic,” or whatever the case may be. That just tells me you don’t respect me or my time if you don’t say anything.
You know how that goes. Lesson learned.
Origin of Ms Olivia’s appointment policy
Ms. Olivia: I learned this lesson when I was staying with Ally for the summer. She is the Owner of LDW Group, the Head Mistress. Staying with her, I was steeped in doing good customer service, wanting to do a really good job. Of course I do now, but this was with Ally there.
A guy who was a long-time caller who lives overseas was desperate for a call at midnight my time. Ally and I had been getting up early, going down to the beach, doing yoga on the beach and then to the gym.
Because I had an early wake-up, I took a nap, got myself up at 11:15pm, had some coffee and got myself fully awake. I was ready at midnight, waiting for his call. I was still waiting at 12:05am, 12:15am, and I waited 30 minutes before sending him an email asking what happened.
He sent me an email back that said a friend stopped by and invited him to a movie. All I said to him was, “Oh, okay,” but that was when my whole view of appointments changed. I was never going to do that again.
Ms. Erika: I’m sorry that happened to you. That is very disrespectful.
Ms. Olivia: Ally was the one who said I needed to become a bitch. I said, “But ‘Mistress’ doesn’t mean bitch,” and she said, “No. It’s fine. Be a bitch.”
Ms. Erika: There has to be mutual respect, that has to be the basis of it.
If you had gotten up at 11:15pm and saw an email apologizing, you might have been disappointed and frustrated, but it wouldn’t have been over the top. “Oh, I’m so disrespected. I’m like a second-class citizen. He doesn’t give a fuck about my time, my needs, and where I need to go.
Ms. Olivia: We’ll end it with this:
“How do I find your Skype name?”
Ms. Erika: If you go to Sexy Texting and look at the profiles, the Skype link should be there. I also have it in my email responder. I have my Skype information on my Schedule page, as well. I’m really easy to find and almost every lady who does Sexy Texting has their Skype connection’s little button there.
Ms. Olivia: I need to do that on my email! We really do want you to contact us, here’s how:
Email is Olivia@EnchantrixEmpire.com.
Twitter: @MistressOlivia1
Personal blog: Experienced Mistress
Erika:
Email is Erika@EnchantrixEmpire.com.
Twitter is @ErikaEnchantrix
Personal Blog: Intelligent Phone Fantasy
Ms. Olivia: Remember to subscribe to The Weekly Hot Spot wherever you listen to podcasts. Subscribe to it, like it, and leave a review. Thank you.
Final questions for our listeners. I want to know: Do you have more questions?
We’ll do this again, including all of the excursions.
Ms. Erika: We know you have more questions, fellas. What are your questions for us?
If you want your questions answered, give us a call at 1-800-601-6875 or email or text us. We might just feature your naughty question on an upcoming podcast.
Ms. Olivia: We will do this again.
Thanks to all of our listeners for joining us for The Weekly Hot Spot. Thank you for your questions. Keep them coming. Oh wait, that’s you cumming… unless you’re in chastity. Then you don’t get to cum.
Thank you, Erika, it’s always fun to be with you. Thank you, my friend.
Ms. Erika: Thank you, Olivia.
Both Mistresses: Bye.
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