Let’s talk about dick ratings. Do you know what they are? Once you find out I bet you’ll WANT one. This really is the perfect post to follow the How To Give a Blow Job post on this blog. This podcast episode is inspired by dick pics – ones that are unsolicited and ones that we ask you to send. Ms Olivia and Ms Erika lead the conversation about setting up a new Dick Review option where a penis rating team tells you what we think of your penis!

What goes into a dick rating?

How do we judge your junk?

• Overall size, shape and curvature
• Circumcised or uncircumcised 
• What makes a cock head sexy or not
• Veins: yes or no on  
• Manscaping preferences

Ms. Olivia: Welcome to The Weekly Hot Spot. Kink conversation, BDSM advice and insight from the worlds of distance domination and phone sex. I’m Mistress Olivia and I’m here with Ms. Erika.

Do you think a man sends dick pics because he actually wants to hear a woman rate a dick, specifically, his penis?

Ms. Erika: For some reason, Olivia, guys are rather proud of their penises except for the few that enjoy SPH, Small Penis Humiliation. I’m sure there are several motivators for men who want to send pictures of their dicks.The preponderance of males do not want to hear us laughing and saying, “Look at that! How cute,” or “Is that all there is?” 

Ms. Olivia: “Are you really hard? Do you get harder than that?” 

Ms. Erika: “C’mon honey, can’t you get a little bit bigger?” 

Ms. Olivia: “I mean, really. Oh, really? That’s it? Awww, I’m so sorry.”

Ms. Erika: The absolute worst: “Are you in yet?”

Ms. Olivia: We dove right into SPH, but dick pics just beg to be laughed at in general, especially when they are unsolicited.

This is why what we are doing is fucking spectacular. As part of our November Anniversary. Along with other specials, Daphne had an idea about doing dick pic reviews and penis ratings as part of the 2-Mistress Tuesday Specials. 

I got fired up about the idea and interviewed five other Mistresses on the dick Review Team. There are more people on the team, but these are interviews with five of the Mistresses. This is a fun episode of our BDSM kink podcast, The Weekly Hot Spot. Remember, there are lots of episodes, topics and guests.

We’re going to be doing something a little bit different for this episode, including those interviews. 

Now, this is not an SPH kind of thing, but I am asking you, Mistress Erika, a guy is sending you his penis and he says to you, “I trust your judgment. You’re not my girlfriend, but I know you and trust you. Tell me truthfully what you think of my penis?”

How do women judge a cock?

Ms. Erika: The first way I judge a cock, which might not be fair, is how it makes me feel. But since that isn’t possible, I use a three-pronged approach.

Ms. Olivia: So you have your prongs out, Erika?

Ms. Erika: I have my prongs out.

Ms. Olivia: It would be a pointy penis with what Claire describes as an aerodynamic head..

Ms. Erika: I call that the bullet head because it is a tiny bullet with a big shaft.

Ms. Olivia: You have three things that you look for.

 Mistress Erika’s penis ratings

Ms. Erika: Size is first. I’m not a size queen and can have a lot of fun and be perfectly satisfied as a partner with a six or six-and-a-half inch dick. That will do just fine. If you are six to six-and-a-half inches or above, you get a higher rating. 

The second way I judge a penis is by form. Is the shaft straight or curved? Is the curve conducive to the G-Spot stimulation – curved up instead of sideways? And let’s not forget, is it a well-formed mushroom head? Does it cap off a nice thick shaft or is it like a little bullet and less thick than the shaft? I also look for a pronounced frenulum.

Men who are uncircumcised have their full frenulum attached and a lot of teasing can be done there.

The third thing I judge is the fun factor. This is where short, little dicks can catch up in their ratings. I rate your dick for your willingness, your creativity, and the ability to be controlled. Of course, if you can make me laugh with some dick dancing, you are going to get a higher rating.

Ms. Olivia: I love that you’ve thought about this so much. I was surprised during all these interviews how much we women have actually thought about what we like. Out of every single person, you are the only one that said: one, two, three and I love that about you.

Ms. Erika: It’s my analytical nature. Let’s break this dick down.

Ms. Olivia: That works. I’m the same way. No one has said, “Hmm. I’m not really sure.” Every single woman said, “I like this. I don’t like this. I’m more attracted to this than I am to that.”

There was a lot of controversy about cock-head shape. Who knew that would be controversial?

Ms. Erika: I can’t wait. This has been such a fun project.

Ms. Olivia: It really has.

I am going to take us on an excursion because, well, you know me; I love an excursion. It is not a The Weekly Hot Spot podcast without going on an excursion at least once.

You mentioned dick dancing. We are going to tell men they cannot just send random dick pics. They have to do these as part of a session. They can send them in advance, but we will open them as part of a session. 

Ms. Erika: They want that first reaction, anyway. 

Ms. Olivia: I have one exception that I am willing to make.

Ms. Erika: What is it? I’m sitting on the edge of my seat now.

Ms. Olivia: I will look if someone sends me a dancing photo of their penis in a Santa hat. You have to put in the subject line: Santa Penis. If you do that, you are completely exempt. I promise you, I will open up that email and look at your dick right away.

Ms. Erika: Get your little Santa hats out, guys.

Ms. Olivia: I don’t know if they make Santa hats that small. They would have to be doll hats.

Ms. Erika: I’m sure there are some decorations or you can steal an Elf on the Shelf’s hat.

Ms. Olivia: A Barbie hat.

Ms. Erika: If you can put a Barbie hat on the tip of your dick, the head must be really skinny.

Ms. Olivia: I hadn’t thought about that, but I guess you’re right. 

I don’t know about those guys with big penises and thick mushroom heads, I don’t know if they’re really putting a Santa hat on it, but they might. If they feel confident, they might think, “Fuck it. This is awesome.”

Ms. Erika: If you’re insecure about your penis and how it appears, making us laugh is going to get you a higher rating. Decorate that dick.

Do men really want to know what women think about their dick?

Ms. Olivia: Laughter aside, do you think men really want to hear the truth about their penises?

Ms. Erika: Good question. I think they want to hear the truth if it’s a good truth. Most men are pretty proud of their penises, but what is interesting is, as Mistresses, we are sitting there looking at an unsolicited dick pic wondering, “Why did they send that? Why would they be motivated to send me a picture of their dick?”

I’m not running around wanting to flash my va-jay-jay to all these strangers on the Internet. I don’t do that. It’s very consensual.

We’ve talked about this before, that there was a study done saying the majority of men who do send unsolicited dick pics, they are hoping we are excited and that we enjoy looking at them. They want us to reciprocate with some naughty pictures of our own.

Ms. Olivia: Have you ever asked for a dick pic, gotten it, then sent naked pictures of yourself? I have.

Ms. Erika: No, I haven’t. They have to work a little harder than a dick pic.

Ms. Olivia: Oh, this is someone I was involved with. When we were apart or traveling.

Ms. Erika: Yes, yes, yes.

Dick pics from random strangers

Ms. Olivia: Not just some random stranger. “Hey, Mistress. I saw you on Twitter. Take a look at my dick!” I would think, “Who are you?”

Ms. Erika: Somebody did that a few weeks ago and it looked like a geoduck and I posted, “OMG, I got this huge worm in my DM box.” And I put a picture of a geoduck with it.

Ms. Olivia: I wonder if it’s the same person who sent me one. But, here’s the thing. When I do ask for a picture of a penis, I do like to look at it.

I’ve never once looked at one and said, “Let me stand up, whip down my panties and take a crotch shot right now.” 

Ms. Erika: That’s not going to happen, fellas, so if you’re looking for a reciprocation of photos, you have a good chance of that not happening.

That all changes if you are involved and have a personal relationship with somebody.

Ms. Olivia: Then it’s because you’re horny and you miss them. That’s a whole different thing. It’s not about the dick, it’s about the connection.

That’s why this is so unusual. We want you to send us dick pics. We will take a look at your penis when we are in a session with each other. We recommend you talk to at least 2-Mistresses at the same time because, as you heard just now and will hear in the following interviews, each woman has very individual opinions about what makes a dashing dick, a perfect penis, a beautiful bone.

Ms. Erika: The perfect prick.

Ms. Olivia: Here you go. Interviews with the Cock Connoisseurs: Scarlet, Daphne, Mandy, Madison, and Claire.

The Scarlet Mistress

Ms. Olivia: Mistress Scarlet, I’m so excited. Can you believe we are actually asking people to send us dick pics?

Ms. Scarlet: No, no. I never thought I would be asking for a dick pic. This seems like the opposite, but now, I am super-in.

Ms. Olivia: Men get in so much trouble sending dick pics to random women. I think, “Dude, send them to a professional. That’s what we’re here for.” We provide a valuable social service.

Ms. Scarlet: It really is a social service, if you think about it. Honesty is needed. We don’t have a romantic relationship with this person, so we can be honest. I don’t mind hurting some feelings. 

Ms. Olivia: Maybe it’s hurting some feelings, but maybe it is something he can improve on.

For example, if we say, “You might look a whole lot better if you had just a little bit of stubble,” or “Maybe you would look better if your balls were clean-shaven.” Or if you did this or did that.

There are some things a man can do to improve his dick pics. We might even suggest, “Don’t take a dick pick with your underwear pulled down to your knees and you are aiming down.” That’s just visually not attractive. Get it in the frame. Put a potted plant behind it.

Ms. Scarlet: I’m sensing a lesson in this. How to Pose Your Dick 101. We know, you and I know, we all know how to take the perfect pictures, but men don’t know. We can help some of them out.

Ms. Olivia: We should totally team up on an audio: “How to Pose Your Dick 101.” Posing techniques!

Ms. Scarlet: It’s a fact, we know this, you can’t do anything about the size of your dick, but you can make it look a little better with some angling or staging. Grooming tips are important, too. Also, should it be hard? Should it be soft? Never take a picture from this angle. I think we have a lot to offer.

Ms. Olivia: Every single time I talk to you, we come up with the best ideas.

Ms. Scarlet: I think it’s that great minds think alike thing. Or maybe great Mistresses think alike?

Ms. Olivia: Or naughty, pervy Princesses think alike. Maybe I shouldn’t say that because I am referring to the both of us. I’m flying the freak flag – it’s up there, hello.

Ms. Scarlet: I’m fine flying the freak flag as long as it is silk and has a beautiful cock on it.

Ms. Olivia: Yes, yes!

Size is definitely a part of it, but for the aesthetics of a penis, we are talking about how it looks and not how it’s going to feel.

Does size matter in a dick rating?

Ms Olivia: What makes a really good-looking cock, for you?

Ms. Scarlet: I think an enthusiastic cock. I know that’s not exactly an adjective that physically describes a cock, but I do want to see it eager. I want to see it being excited. That does not necessarily mean on the verge of orgasm. It just means that it’s reacting to the thought of me looking at it.

I want it to be on display. I want to be able to see the whole thing. That’s the kind of dick pic I appreciate. I can tell the person took the time to set it up. They didn’t just yank their boxers out and snap a quick picture. Nobody wants that. Put some effort into it. Be enthusiastic about it. You should be excited to show any of us your dick.

Ms. Olivia: Scarlet, you are the first person who talked about an enthusiastic dick. 

Ms. Scarlet: See? We are all different. We are all looking at different things. I think what you said about being reviewed by more than just one Mistress is important.

Ms. Olivia: Here’s my thought. They should do a 2-Mistress Pass the Penis. 2-Mistresses with 10-minutes each – or better, four Mistresses to get four points of view – all different.

We’re all going to have comments on how it looks, how you should pose it, what you should do. God knows, we are nothing if not helpful.

Ms. Scarlet: I look at this as another way to control cocks. Hearing us give our honest opinions, suggestions, and advice is really just more cock control. And it’s fun! I think it’s another way for us to enjoy dicks.

Ms. Olivia: Are you surprised by how many dicks you’ve seen?

Ms. Scarlet: Never.

Ms. Olivia: Do you ever talk to your vanilla friends and, forgetting what you do, say something like, “Oh, my God! I’ve seen so many dicks. Blah blah blah. And I saw this,” and then realize it? “I’m not talking to someone in the fetish scene or one of my fellow Mistresses. This is just Suzy Suburban in my yoga class.”

Do you ever do that? Or is it just me?

Ms. Scarlet: It’s not just you. You’re not alone. Just recently, I was having cocktails and the girl I was with met somebody on Tinder or something and he sent her an unsolicited dick pic. Now listen to me guys. If you send an unsolicited dick pic, that is permission for her to show it to anyone she wants to. 

While we were sitting at the bar, she showed it to me and I laughed so hard and I said, “Even I have never seen one that small!” I thought, “This is the pic you decided to send now?” Had he come here first, maybe it would have been a different result. Unfortunately, his unsolicited little dick got some SPH without even trying.

Ms. Olivia: I think some guys send unsolicited dick pics to get free SPH, Small Penis Humiliation.

Honestly guys, it just pisses us off. I get them in my DMs in Twitter all the time. “Oh, Mistress what do you think of this?” I answer, “I didn’t fucking ask you to send it to me, dirtbag.” Block!

Ms. Scarlet: I want to address this. Most of the guys we talk to, by now, know that it’s just rude. They would never do it because it’s disrespectful.

Other guys who send them think it automatically opens in our email, in our private message and we just see it. That’s not at all true. We have to choose to look at it. So if you send us pictures, we don’t have to look at it. Don’t feel like you’re flashing us, please. Please. We have to choose to look at it.

In this program, you send us the pics and then we’ll look at them while we’re in session, which I think is the best part. Then it is a total surprise.

Ms. Olivia: And he gets to hear our reaction and then we get to hear his.

For example, I love penises, big throbbing veins that grrr mmm grrr arrrr . Now that’s enthusiasm. If I am with someone that says, “I’m not into a veiny penis.” Then he has two points of view.

Ms. Scarlet: I don’t know if I love a veiny penis.

Ms. Olivia: Really?

Ms. Scarlet: See, this is how we all find out. I really like a smooth penis. I do. But do you know what I really like? This is what I get enthusiastic about. I love that helmet ridge around that head. I love it when there is a really big ridge. 

I have a very sensitive G-spot and that’s a little something for me. I always stare at that when someone has a big one. It doesn’t matter what size dick you have. You could still have it.

That goes to show, you don’t know what we will think about your dick. We all have different opinions.

Ms. Olivia: Do you want to hear what we think about your dick? We know you do! Dial 1-800-601-6975

Scarlet, how do they get in touch with you?

Ms. Scarlet: My email is Scarlet@EnchantrixEmpire.com. My blog is TheScarletMistress.com. I look forward to talking to you soon!

The dick pic review team creator, Mistress Daphne

Ms. Olivia: Enchantrix Daphne, you are the one who created the idea of the 2-Mistress Dick Pic Review. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about it.

Ms. Daphne: I thought we needed to have some fun with our wonderful specials we are having for LDW Group’s 19th Anniversary. I thought there would be nothing more fun than having 2-Mistresses for 10 minutes, critiquing a guy’s dick. How much fun is that?

We probably pass judgment. Why not say it out loud?

Ms. Olivia: Oh, we definitely pass judgment. If the guy is looking to be verbally destroyed or get some small penis humiliation, we have a lot of fun doing that. But this is different because we think a lot of guys legitimately want to know, “Hey, what do you think of my penis?”

Ms. Daphne: Absolutely. Why else would there be dick pics flying through the air on the Internet and telephone wires? Guys really want to know.

Ms. Olivia: There has been a study done about this. We know how people will research anything, so this is one of those. Research found that men who send unsolicited dick pics hoping, with the stupid expectation, that the woman receiving the unsolicited dick pic is going to say, “Oh, my God! I see the picture of your erect penis! Let me send you, stranger on the Internet, a picture of my wet pussy.”

Ms. Daphne: That is so funny. You and I both know, because we work with men who have sex with men, that is is a common experience with men to share dick pics back and forth. “Oh, here’s my dick.” “And here’s my dick. Do you want to come suck it?”

But with women, and there might be some women that are going to reciprocate, but generally, I don’t think that’s the first thought we jump to. “Oh, look at that dick! Let me show him my pussy and see if he loves it as much.” I just don’t think we do that.

Ms. Olivia: I don’t think men send unsolicited dick pics to just random men they see on the Internet. Generally, it’s on Grindr or other dating sites. They are talking about sex and it’s at least on the table, so to speak.

Ms. Daphne: It is out of the pants. 

You are correct. They don’t say, “Let’s send this dick pic to this cute newscaster on TV.” They won’t do that, but on the apps, they will show their dicks as part of their profiles. They will also send their dick pics back and forth to each other.

I don’t think women do that in general. If there’s a lesbian app, I don’t think women are taking pics of their vulvas and sending them to other women. Even if they are wanting sex. Maybe tit pics, but not clit pics.

Ms. Olivia: You are right. This is a public service. We are providing a public service. Send us your dick pics, have us review your dicks then you don’t have to send them to random women on the Internet and get in trouble.

Ms. Daphne: You can send them to us when we are about to have a session and we will critique it like your dick is a piece of art. We’ll talk about it as if you were in a dick museum. We’ll stand back, cross our arms and say, “That circumcision could have been a bit tighter. Maybe he could rub oil on that frenulum.”

Ms. Olivia: How does one really judge a penis? What are the criteria of the critique when you rate a cock? Length? Girth? Head shape? Veins? Balls?

Circumcised or uncircumcised penis?

Ms. Daphne: It is quite subjective depending on who’s looking. I listened to the critiques you and Miss Mandy had about circumcised versus uncut cocks and mine are different.

My preference is to have uncircumcised cocks. They are more entertaining. When I see an uncircumcised dick, I can think, “Oh, I like how that foreskin closes into an O right there at the end.” I can judge like that. 

Yes, it’s subjective. What is so much fun is when the guy picks two Mistresses to look at his dick pic, he gets two different thoughts about what the dick looks like.

Ms. Olivia: I think you bring up a spectacular point. Even if one woman says, “I don’t like the shape of your penis,” or “There are a lot of veins there and I don’t find that attractive,” you can have another woman who says, “Are you crazy? The veins are the best thing! Look at all those veins. I can put my tongue on them and rub them. I can put my finger on them and make it dance.” 

 Penis beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, don’t you think?

Ms. Daphne: Oh, yes. What you said about the veins is amusing to me because there are times I look at them like I am in an art museum. Then there are times when I can almost feel them on my tongue, pulsating on my tongue. Then I look at it as potential.

Ms. Olivia: I think a Dick Pic Review can go however long he wants it to, for us to take a look at and talk about his dick. I think some want to hear about it for quite some time.

Ms. Daphne: I absolutely agree. And what’s fun is, as we look at that dick, we can say, “Why don’t you take your thumb and put it on that vein. How about you grip that beautiful shaft that goes slightly to the left and let’s rub on there on that head.”

We can give them jerk-off instructions and they can have a great time.

Ms. Olivia: A dick pic as an excuse to masturbate. I like that.

Ms. Daphne: What’s fun as you talk about it being an excuse to masturbate, it is. You know he has his hand on his dick. We might as well make some use of it. He took it out. He made it hard. We might as well finish the job. Or not.

Ms. Olivia: What will we do when we give you your cock review? Will we let you have an orgasm? A ruined orgasm? Or will we tell you you need to chill that dick and put it back in its chastity cage and then we’ll talk some more.

How do guys and gals get a hold of you for their Dick Pic Rating, Miss Daphne?\

Ms. Daphne: My email address is Daphne@EnchantrixEmpire.com and my blog is DaphneEnchantrix.com. 

I look forward to talking to you all.

Goddess Mandy is on the Dick Review team

Ms. Olivia: The lovely Goddess Mandy is joining me. I’m excited about this Dick Pic thing we have going on.

Ms. Mandy: I am excited about it, too. I think the guys are going to love it. You guys are going to want to hear what we have to say about your dicks. Don’t you think so?

Ms. Olivia: Absolutely. Some of them will be into Small Penis Humiliation. “Your dick is so lame. It’s so tiny. That thing is so pitiful it isn’t getting anywhere near my pussy.” That kind of fetishy stuff. Of course, we have to add the laughter.

Ms. Mandy: You guys love when we laugh at you.

Ms. Olivia: They do, too. 

Here’s a question. Have you been on a lot of calls where the guys asks you to talk to them about dick size? Then you realize it isn’t a humiliation call. Perhaps he’s heard his whole life, “Women want a huge dick and she’s a size queen and she wants it 16-inches, the size of a small tree trunk.”

They say, “But I’m only six inches. Can I still get laid?”

The women in their lives don’t tell them the truth about their penis. Have you ever lied about a guy’s penis when you were dating him and were in love with him? He wouldn’t have been into humiliation and you didn’t want to hurt his feelings, have you ever lied?

Ms. Mandy: I have. I hate to say that, but you know me, I’m the kind of person who doesn’t want to make you feel badly and I don’t want to hurt your feelings. I have lied.

Ms. Olivia: We both have.

You know the one who says, “Did you feel that? Did that feel really, really good to you?” And you answer, “Yeah, it did. It was great. Just hold me, sweetie.” Then you grab his hand and say, “Touch me right here.” Or you grab his face and say, “Just go down on me. I like to finish that way.” 

There are ways around it. 

If we’ve lied in order to protect the feelings about someone we care about, I think other guys know they have been lied to. Mandy, we can provide a public service.

Ms. Mandy: That’s true, You’re right. I wasn’t thinking about it like that, but that is exactly the perfect way to be thinking about it.

Ms. Olivia: PPSA – Penis Public Service Announcement. I also like it because it is a PeePee PSA.

Ms. Mandy: That was priceless. Well done.

Ms. Olivia: All joking aside, guys, we’re going to be honest. We’re not going to be super-harsh unless you’re looking to have your dick destroyed verbally. But if you want an honest assessment, sweet, but honest, we’re going to give you our visuals, our first impressions.

Size, shape, grooming, veins, etc.

What kind of cock head do you personally like, Mandy?

Ms. Mandy: I might not answer this exactly as you’re asking, but here is what I am going to tell you, what I tell everybody. 

I like a cockhead that is not bigger than the shaft. That is what is aesthetically pleasing to me. I like it symmetrical. If there’s a little leaning left or a little leaning right, that’s okay. I don’t have any issues with that whatsoever. I just like everything the same size. 

Ms. Olivia: Really?

Ms. Mandy: That sounds like it could be a little different than your preference.

Ms. Olivia: I love that big fucking fat mushroom head that makes me you and say, “Wow, boy. Howdy! Put that in me.”

Ms. Mandy: I love the big mushroom head if it is on a big, long, thick cock. It looks right together.

Ms. Olivia: Tidy. Well-organized.

Ms. Mandy: I like a tidy penis. I like a tidy circumcised penis. 

So I like the mushroom head. We’re on that together. That’s real.

Ms. Olivia: So you don’t like uncircumcised penises? 

Ms. Mandy: I’m not going to throw them out, but aesthetically, they don’t please me the way a circumcised penis does.

Ms. Olivia: Fellas, this is why you need to do a 2-Mistress call.

Mandy, you definitely like circumcised cocks.

Apparently I am the slut of the group; I like them anyway they can come.

You know what I like about an uncircumcised penis is that mushroom head just comes out and it’s like springtime when it flowers and bursts forth from the cold ground into the warmth of the sun saying, “I’m here.”

Ms. Mandy: I like that.

Ms. Olivia: Plus it’s a handy repository for all that pre-cum. You’ve got a cockhead in a little bowl, floating in a bowl of precum. That is just festive.

Ms. Mandy: Yes, I will go with that. Festive.

It’s not like candles floating in water, that’s really festive. But we’re not talking about candles. We’re talking about penises.

Ms. Olivia: These are the kinds of insights you will hear. Maybe we will be a tad more serious. Maybe we’ll be sillier.

You’ll get what we think about the visual aesthetics… size, veins, shape, grooming, etc. Manscaping tips, for example.

Thoughts on manscaping

Ms Olivia: What do you think about shaving? Do you like it bare? Do you like it with a little bit of hair? Do you like the balls bare? Do you like a little design?

Let me take us on a quick excursion.

Ms. Mandy: I was about to answer your series of questions. Excursion first.

Ms. Olivia: My pussy is usually bare, but sometimes I have a little bit of landscaping, a landing strip or a triangle. One time, I did a heart shape in my pussy hair. I don’t know what possessed me, but I dyed my pussy hair pink. I had a pink heart shape.

Ms. Mandy: On your pussy. Wow! Was this a festive occasion? Valentine’s Day treat in some way, shape, or form?

Ms. Olivia: No, I think I was just feeling frisky. I should really say it was for Valentine’s Day. That sounds better than I just decided to do it. I don’t know why I did it.

Ms. Mandy: “I was feeling frisky,” was a reasonable reason.

Ms. Olivia: Back to manscaping. What do you like?

Ms. Mandy: I am less particular here than I am about the cock. What were your words? Neat and tidy. Yes.

Ms. Olivia: I want a disorganized penis. I want a slightly threatening penis.

Ms. Mandy: That is not neat and tidy.

Ms. Olivia: I love you. You love me. We know each other well enough that you know I am not a particularly tidy person. I like things that are kind of messy. Part of the fun is the mess.

Ms. Mandy: Messy can be fantastic.

Ms. Olivia: Manscaping.

Ms. Mandy: Manscaping. I’ll elaborate on the little bit I said.

I like a little bit of hair. I’m good with a bunch of hair. I’m good with no hair anywhere – cock, balls, nothing. I am just not that particular when it comes to all the grooming.

Ms. Olivia: That’s interesting. You’re fine with an overgrown, frothy amount of hair?

Ms. Mandy: That would not be my very first choice, especially if the guy is really, really, really hairy. If he’s a Grizzly Adams, I might beg off. But, overall hair does not scare me.

Ms. Olivia: The visuals of hair or any permutation of manscaping doesn’t scare me at all. But if the guy is really hairy, especially on his balls, anything that can get into my mouth or teeth, you’re spending half the blowjob spitting out hair.

Ms. Mandy: Or bringing your fingers to your mouth when fingers could be doing something else besides taking hair out of your mouth.

Ms. Olivia: You and I will come up with a Cock Rating System so when you get an appraisal from us, you will get an honest assessment or a junk judgment.

Ms. Mandy: What does a junk judgment mean?

Ms. Olivia: A junk judgment is a judgment of your junk.

You know, is this something you and I would like to jump on? Suck on? Give a hand-job to? Lock up? What do we think? Such a wide variety.

Ms. Mandy: Give little kisses and say, “Aw, that’s so cute.”

Ms. Olivia: When we rate your cock, you will know you have been rated. I think we should figure out what kind of rating system we will use. A 5-Star Review?  Do we want to go on a 10-point sliding scale? Do we want to do a graph that shows guys might be in the 99th percentile?

These are all things we could do. We could get very scientific about it.

Ms. Mandy: So we need to figure out how we are going to do this. Are we going to figure it out right now?

Ms. Olivia: No, no, no. We are going to go into our Mistress lair and we’re going to discuss this to come up with the perfect cock rating system.

Mandy, how do the guys find you to get their penis evaluations?

Ms. Mandy: My blog is IntelligentPhoneFantasies.com and my email is Mandy@EnchantrixEmpire.com. I look forward to talking to you all.

Dick pics and penis review from Mistress Madison

Ms. Olivia: I’m talking with Ms. Madison, whose blog appropriately is called MasturbationDomination.

Madison, do you see a lot of dicks during your day?

Ms. Madison: I see a lot of them during the day, yes, but I only want to see them when I ask for them.

Ms. Olivia: There’s the Domination part of it. When you ask for them, do you like getting dick pics?

Ms. Madison: Oh, yes. I get to see a lot of really nice cocks. I even like the small ones because they are so cute and adorable.

Ms. Olivia: You could have me and Madison looking at your penis and she would say, “Well, that’s so adorable.” I’m glad you feel the same way because little penises are cute. 

Ms. Madison: They are just so tiny and adorable. 

Ms. Olivia: Maybe we don’t want to fuck them. Well for sure, we don’t want to fuck them.

Ms. Madison: More like scissoring.

Ms. Olivia: That’s a great line. I’m going to have to remember that.

What do you think about our plan to provide all these guys with an official LDW Group-Approved Penis Rating?

Ms. Madison: I think it’s a great idea and I can’t wait to start rating these penises.

Ms. Olivia: So as we’re talking to the guys and looking at his penis, bring it to your mind. I am thinking of a sissy. This sissy has a bangin’ cock.

Ms. Madison: I’ve seen some sissies with great cocks, too.

Ms. Olivia: Let’s give an example of a cock review. Does size matter? We’re talking about looking at, not feeling it. Does size matter?

Ms. Madison: Looking at it, probably not. You are either going to say, “Wow, that’s a great cock or “That’s so adorable.” It can go either way. For me, it isn’t so much length as it is girth.

Ms. Olivia: What pleases you when you’re looking at it?

Ms. Madison: I like looking at big cocks. When there is a nice big fat head on the tip, I love that.

Ms. Olivia: Mandy told me something I had never heard before that I found fascinating. She said she likes the cock head to be the same size or bigger than the shaft.

Ms. Madison: Oh, no. I like them when they’re a little bigger. 

Ms. Olivia: Thank you, Madison. That’s what I said to Mandy. She said, “I like them all organized.” I said, “You like a visually organized cock.” She said, “That’s it!”

Ms. Madison: That’s the difference between a rubber dildo and a vibrator. The dildo has different textures compared to the vibrator which is all straight.

Ms. Olivia: That’s a really good point.

For those who are listening, you can see why it is really important to have 2 Mistresses or more to give you a penis rating because we are not all going to agree.

Now, Madison is really smart. I love Mandy, but she’s wrong about this. You are obviously really smart because you and I agree that cock head, that mushroom head, needs to be bigger.

Ms. Madison: The guys are going to get a second opinion about their cocks. Two-for-one. You get one girl’s opinion and you get a second girl’s opinion.

Ms. Olivia: I was talking to Daphne and we were talking about cut or uncut. Daphne came down on the side of uncut. Mandy came down on the side of cut. What is your point of view? Circumcised penis or uncircumcised penis?

Ms. Madison: I would definitely say circumcised. 

Ms. Olivia: What do you like most about a circumcised penis?

Ms. Madison: I think the circumcised penis looks better and prettier.

Ms. Olivia: Truthfully, I can go either way. I think this makes me a little bit slutty, but we knew I was a little bit slutty because I go both ways. Boys, girls, anyone inbetween. Uncut. Cut. I don’t care. I just want to groove on it.

Ms. Madison: It reminds me when I try and put a turtleneck on and I just don’t like turtlenecks.

Ms. Olivia: If you are a guy into any kind of humiliation and have an uncut penis, you need to have an audio of Madison saying, “It looks like a turtleneck and I’m not into wearing turtlenecks,” in her sweet voice.

Where do you fall on the idea of manscaping? I think a lot of men are aware of manscaping. Shaved, not shaved. Little bit, lots?

Ms. Madison: They definitely need to tend to their garden. Especially for the tiny cocks. It will help it look a little bit bigger. You can see it a little bit better.

Ms. Olivia: That’s all relative, right? 

Ms. Madison: Definitely trimmed, but even shaved. You have to tame that bush.

Ms. Olivia: Completely overgrown, wild and furry, I wouldn’t say no, but I like them trimmed. I also like shaved.

Ms. Madison: It goes back to visually pleasing.

Ms. Olivia: For him, it is also more sensitive. 

I also like a little bit of hair, say trimmed, because if I take his hair in my mouth, bringing my lips over my teeth as I tug on the hair, that is kind of hot.

Ms. Madison: That sure is.

Ms. Olivia: How do the guys contact you, Madison, for their individual and 2-Mistress dick pic rating?

Ms. Madison: My email is Madison@EnchantrixEmpire.com. My blog is MasturbationDomination.com and you can find me on Twitter, @Enchantrix_Madi. 

More thoughts on what makes a great dick pic in the next blog post

This post got really long!  I’ll save the rest of the dick review team for the next blog post. Remember to check out The Weekly Hot Spot podcast for all sorts of topics: BDSM, kink, fetish, Femdom, sex, and more (including great guests).

Ms. Olivia: We are Mistresses Olivia and Erika, back with you. I am so glad you are part of the team designing the perfect grading system. This puts your analytical skills to really good use.

Ms. Erika: I like to have a fair playing field, so if you get a five-inch dick, it might not be all that impressive, but you could certainly make up points in other areas.

Ms. Olivia: Again, this is all part of LDW Group’s 19th Anniversary. You get 2 Mistresses for the price of one for the first 10 minutes of your call every Tuesday for the month of November 2021. If you want to extend your call, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. That’s at the regular rate.

Even after November, we still want to rate your dicks. Put in your email subject line: “Dick for Penis Rating” or some line about a “Dick Review.”

We are going to have the perfect cock rating system and we will be set. 

Erika, you are generally off on Tuesdays. What will you do for Tuesdays in November?

Ms. Erika: I do need a day to regroup and refresh, but because this is such an exciting time and I love the dick, I am willing to come on. Some of the other ladies have my text number and if I am home, I will hop on and rate that dick. 

You can email or Skype and arrange an appointment, but yes, only for November will I come on my day off for a 10-minute call.

Ms. Olivia: Especially the one with the Santa hat. That’s the one for me. That would be a freebie from me.

To our listeners, are you inspired to get a personalized penis rating after listening to this episode? Did you find out more about how women rate a dick? 

Erika, I learned a whole lot of things about how other women judge cocks. That was very interesting to me.

Ms. Erika: It gives some of the guys some hope, right? Not every woman sees a penis in the same way, so just keep poking around until you find the right one.

Ms. Olivia: Poking around the right hole. “No! That’s not the right hole!”

Any other questions for the guys?

Ms. Erika: I want to know if you’ve ever sent an unsolicited dick pic.

Ms. Olivia: Oh, that’s a great question.

Besides the information given by the Mistresses above, you can also go to CockControl.com, click on her name and that will give you her Bio information, photos, all of those good things.

You can also ask the Dispatcher about a particular lady.

Remember, there are a lot more ladies on the team, but you heard just from the ones I was able to talk to quickly.

How to get in touch with the hosts of The Weekly Hot Spot podcast

Ms Olivia:  Olivia@EnchantrixEmpire.com. My Twitter is @MistressOlivia1 and my blog is ExperiencedMistress.com.

Ms. Erika: My email is Erika@EnchantrixEmpire.com. My Twitter is @ErikaEnchantrix. My blog is IntelligentPhoneFantasy.com. 

Ms. Olivia: Now remember to give our podcast a hand, too. Not that kind of hand. Give us, the podcast, a hand. We want you to subscribe, like, and review The Weekly Hot Spot on all the platforms where you listen to us. After you write a review, you can start again and send us your dick pics for your own personal rating.

We’ll see your dick soon!

Bye!